Handful Harry...

I have a demon that was a huge part of my life before surgery and I like to call him Handful Harry. Harry was the little gremlin always sitting on my shoulder just waiting for me to grab a handful of something. That something was anything from crackers to Reese’s pieces. Harry sat patiently waiting for me to grab a handful of food and once that happened I was doomed.

He would constantly babble on and on over and over “One more handful won’t hurt.”

Over the course of my journey I have worked on taming that animal through therapy and self-help in hopes to never hear his voice again. There are times when I can feel Mr. Harry peaking over my shoulder in anticipation of me grabbing a handful. This is something I personally struggle with and is a constant reminder to me that the operation was performed on my stomach not my head.

This is a perfect example of a time when having a bariatric friend is a saving grace. When those head games start and you go into panic mode make a call, journal what's going on and how you feel, get on your local website forum and call out to your bariatric extended family. Get support in whatever form you need it! Find a local support group and attend as often as you can.

I am here to help whenever I can no matter how far you are in your journey, no matter what type of surgery, where you live or what program you are in.

What personal struggles are you facing?

What steps do you need to take today to conquer your demons?

Putting yourself first!!

Put Yourself First
Reach Other Goals by Starting With Yourself

You’re a parent, school volunteer, football coach, team mom, have a full-time job along with being a part-time student, assistant to your boss, colleague and jack of all trades! You’ve been up since 6 a.m., made breakfast, packed lunches, cleaned the house, chauffeured the neighborhood kids, helped with homework, read bedtime stories, and finished extra work from the office. It’s 11:30. You’re exhausted and, in about five hours you’ll begin the whole 24-hour cycle…again.

If you find yourself saying ‘Stop the merry-go-round, I want to get off!’ you’re not alone. Most of us (especially women) but men too have at some time found ourselves at the bottom of the heap when it comes to taking care of our needs.

The problem with that is that if we don’t take care of ourselves, sooner or later we won’t be of much use to anyone else, or to ourselves. Just as the airline attendant tells you to put on your own oxygen mask in an emergency before helping a child with theirs, you must take care of your own basic needs before you can attend to the needs of others.

That statement is hard for many of us to make reality!

If “putting yourself first” sounds too selfish or too hard, try something simpler: put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and tend to. Do you insist that they get enough sleep? Start making that a priority for yourself too. Do you give them time for fun and socializing with friends? Do you tell them to stop and smell the roses? Do you make sure they are eating nutritiously? Then you do the same!

Remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: human beings must meet their basic needs before they can move on to higher-level goals.

Here are some guidelines to help get you there:

Preserve your physical health with adequate sleep, exercise, and nutrition.
Value your emotional health as much as the physical, with a support system of friends and a willingness to laugh, especially at yourself. Do things that make you happy.
Schedule fun activities on a regular basis.

It’s just as important to plan pleasure as it is to plan work.

Identify “busy behaviors” (or people) that drain your time and energy but aren’t really important, then dump ‘em, or at least minimize their hold on you. Negative energy can be a physical/emotional and spiritual drain on us just as much as stress from work or physical labor.
Combine family time with exercise which benefits everyone involved. Make it fun! Explore your environment and take a journey.

Try to look at the problems in your life with new eyes to find solutions. If you’re a new mom see if you can trade childcare with another new mom to get some time for yourself.
Learn to say “No!” Those of us who are "Yes" people find this very hard to accomplish. Try saying "No" a few times this week and see what happens. Reserve that “yes” statement for the things that are most important to you.

Don’t try to change every problem area in your life all at once. Make a list of problem areas or tasks you would like to complete. Start out small, prioritize and accomplish things one by one.

Your life should be like a checking account, balancing out on a regular basis so that you always have assets to draw upon. By making even small deposits, taking care of yourself with a

15-minute walk, nutritious meal, meditation, time with friends.

Try it! You will be amazed at the results.

What will you do for yourself today? Tomorrow? This week?

When Life Happens...

What do we do in those situations when “life happens?" The new bariatric lifestyle we have adopted becomes habit and part of our daily routine. When life happens and it throws a wrench in our new system how we react can be detrimental in our success.

I recently experienced the loss of my grandfather along with the loss of my long time, four legged, furry companion of 15 years. For me that was the loss of two family members within a short period of each other. Can you say emotional wreck?My initial thoughts are how do I numb this pain and make it disappear? Life happened and I have no desire to face it head on. I would simply prefer to dull the pain by indulging myself in a huge foot long chili cheese dog followed by a Reese’s peanut butter cup blizzard. Once I finished I would embrace the euphoric feeling of my sugar high laughing at the grim reaper screaming take that!

Would I eventually crash from the euphoric feeling and be miserable? Yes… Would the pain still be there? Yes…As a bariatric patient the above mentioned option would not be a wise choice for me. Life is going to happen and we need a backup plan. Personally, I know if I’m not careful emotional eating will undermine my weight loss surgery success. I’m taking this minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day.

The day it happened I chose to take my son on a long bike ride, feel the sun on my face, the wind in my hair and take deep breaths. The following evening I chose to continually keep myself busy by re arranging my bedroom, hanging curtains, dusting and vacuuming. Whenever I slowed down I physically had to take a step back, let myself cry, take a few deep breaths and start another task.

Today my choice is to blog about my personal struggles with you!

Tomorrow is a new day and I again will have to make a choice!

What path will you choose today???